To Be Thankful Together

Oh the dilemma, with our families living over a thousand miles away we had to deal with travel questions. Should I spend the money to travel to my parents for a long weekend? Does Thanksgiving or any holiday require visiting family? Will we do any permanent damage to relationships by choosing to spend the holiday the way we want? Are the additional emissions from travel worth the trip?

Admittedly every decision doesn’t justify pulling out the environmentally friendly argument, but for many of us it is part of the equation. My honey made the best argument for staying home. “Being thankful can be done with any kind of family, eve one created just for the occasion.”

Together we mulled over the traditions while we enjoyed mugs of hot cider and decided to pick and choose for our special holiday. I refused to cook a turkey; traditions don’t mean I have to stop being a vegetarian. My menu was stuffed seitan roast, sautéed potatoes O’Brien, curried cabbage and apples, lemony garlic green beans and cranberry sauce. Fort the table full of pies too, I made dark chocolate molasses brownies to be served a la mode as guests preferred.

Our family became those friend we share many things with and new acquaintances who could use a new family for the holiday. We didn’t forget our relatives with phone calls to let them know we care. We dreaded hearing criticism and the ultimate question. “When are you coming home?” Instead they just told us they missed us.

Cuddled up after the holiday we discussed the odd thing about holidays; that delicate balance of family politics. Family expects blood relations to trump a date, lover or friends. Instead of releasing everyone to enjoy the day as they wish, tradition seems to dictate following outmoded social rules, traveling farther than prudent, eating more than it healthy of foods that aren’t necessarily favorites and pretending to be thankful for thing that aren’t a part of our daily lives just to make others happy.

We agreed. There is nothing inherently wrong with tradition unless for the sake of custom we sacrifice ideals and goals we care about. I’m thankful to have the opportunity to spend time with someone who shares similar values.

THE END